Young dater worries about “love bombs,” red flags


Dear Amy: I am 21 and just getting into the dating game.

My father is a narcissist and used love-bombing to get my mom.

I’ve watched her go through multiple men who used the same tactic. I understand how abusive these men turned out to be.

I’m also a psychology student, so I tend to read a lot into things.

My question is: How do I take a compliment without my brain throwing up red flags?

I’m having the hardest time still talking to people if they call me beautiful, or if they give me any other compliment.

– Confused Dater

Dear Dater: “Love bombing” is a term describing a specific kind of attention which is lavished on a potential partner in order to essentially ensnare the person in a relationship. This refers to showering (“bombing”) the person with affection, attention, gifts, compliments, and premature declarations of friendship or love.

This technique is often used by potential abusers to destabilize and control their partners.

Knowing about “love bombing” can help to protect you in future relationships.

It is important that you always remain true to your most authentic self – but it can be hard to locate that anchor when you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure of an attraction.


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