Spending too much time watching or talking to Fox Sports talking head Skip Bayless is bad for your brain.
The latest piece of evidence arrived Friday night, when Skip’s daily foil on the profoundly awful sports debate show “Undisputed” caused a courtside scene during the Lakers-Grizzlies game inside Crypto.com Arena.
Shannon Sharpe — D-
Yes, our old friend was ready to pick a fight with the Memphis Grizzlies.
All of the Memphis Grizzlies.
Their transgression, you might ask? Taking exception with some of the smack talk being thrown their direction by the former Broncos tight end during the first half of their game Friday night in Tinseltown.
For those who don’t know — and if you don’t, it’s likely because you’ve made some quality life choices — Sharpe now spends his mornings operating as LeBron James’ biggest fanboy opposite the world’s most notorious King James hater on FS1.
It’s the worst kind of schtick, not just because of the intellectual dishonesty it inspires as both parties tie themselves in knots arguing their positions, but because of the one-note nature of the “debates” the show conjures up in service of it.
While it should come as no surprise that a man who engages in contrived shouting matches five days a week on national television would get into a verbal altercation sitting courtside at an NBA game, it remains silly nonetheless.
Just how silly can best be summed up by this whale of a quote given to ESPN’s Dave McMenamin once Sharpe was escorted to a tunnel after he and the Grizzlies spent roughly 60 seconds jawing at one another at the end of the second quarter.
“They didn’t want this smoke, Dave,” Sharpe said. “They do all that talking and jockeying and I ain’t about that jockeying. It started with Dillon Brooks. I said he was too small to guard LeBron. He said, ‘(Expletive) me.’ I said, ‘(Expletive) you’ back. He started to come at me, and I said, ‘You don’t want these problems.’ And then Ja came out of nowhere talking. He definitely didn’t want these problems. Then (Ja’s) dad came and he obviously didn’t want no problems.
“But I wanted anything they had. Don’t let these fools fool you now.”
It should be noted that Sharpe is now 54 years old — and in better shape than the Grading the Week staff could ever dream of. So, to be clear, we’re not interested in that smoke, either, Shannon.
Tim Brewster, hype man — C
Speaking of grown men spazzing out in front of a camera: How about that show from Tim Brewster in Boulder?
In case you missed the video that went viral this week, the new CU tight ends coach introduced himself to the Buffs by performing his best Gunnery Sergeant Hartman impression at the first team meeting of spring practices.
Screaming at his new charges inside the team conference room, Brewster began his speech by demanding that each player “stand tall” and “sit your (behind) back down” on command — an exercise that could be perceived as tough-love team building at best or petty bullying at worst.
It was most certainly on brand for the former Minnesota head coach, who’s best known for the bizarre motivational techniques and catch phrases he deployed during his time with the Gophers, whom he led to a 15-30 record.
Some might consider that lack of success an indictment of Brewster’s methods, but we’ll withhold judgment for now — if only for entertainment purposes.
Mikko Rantanen + Nikola Jokic — A
What a time to be a fan of the Avalanche and Nuggets.
In the span of two days, team records held for multiple decades by Joe Sakic (fastest to 30 goals in a season) and Alex English (career assists) were taken down by Rantanen and Jokic, respectively.
And since the latter happened to occur on a game broadcast by ESPN, we even got to see it.
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