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Out of tune: Broncos quarterback Russell Wilson is Harold Hill from “The Music Man” of the NFL. He still has the Denver rubes in the palm of his hand.
Don, hums Broadway tunes
Kiz: His Super Bowl ring and 106 regular-season victories are the real deal, so he ain’t Harold Hill. Wilson has delivered the goods. But since arriving in Denver, the Mr. Unlimited we know and love has vanished. So I prefer to think of him as Mr. Cellophane from “Chicago.” Cue the music and let’s all sing together: “With all that bulk, you’re bound to see him there. Unless that human bein’ next to you is unimpressive, undistinguished. You know who … Cellophane. Mr. Cellophane.”
Football first: I kinda wish Wilson would just go dark on social media and come back when he gets things fixed on the football field.
Rob, all Russed out
Kiz: Perhaps DangeRuss needs a new catch phrase to replace “Let’s ride.” Maybe something like this: Touchdowns, not Twitter.
Russ Inc: If branding isn’t an issue for Tom “TB12” Brady, why so Wilson?
B.W., name-brand shopper
Kiz: Well, it might have something to do with Brady’s 7-1 advantage in Super Bowl rings. Winning is an unbeatable brand. But am I the only one who senses some Brady fatigue among NFL fans. I get the impression Gisele isn’t the only one that wishes TB12 would take his ball and go home.
Off-brand: One thing we can be sure of is that Kiszla will never have a brand.
John, social media influencer
Kiz: Heck, I feel special when they write my name on my cup at Starbucks. That’s as close to having a brand as I’ll ever get.
Push for change: If a fan or some media person had shoved Las Vegas receiver Davante Adams to the ground in a stadium, they would be arrested and banned from ever attending an NFL game again. That was a really awful look for the league and for a Raiders franchise that has had a less than savory reputation for a long time.
Scott, judge and jury
Kiz: After a loss to the Chiefs, Adams pushed a photographer to the ground on his way to the locker room. That was absolutely wrong. The photographer, who should’ve been stopped by security from running into the path of Adams, filed assault charges. That was absolutely absurd.
Wrong drive: Instead of using a truck to air grievances with Comcast, Nuggets and Avalanche owner Stan Kroenke could stop being so greedy and cut deals with the cable provider. I mean, how many billions are enough?
M.B., keeps on truckin’
Kiz: There are billions of reasons to believe Kroenke is one smart businessman. But if a smart businessman can’t get the Avalanche and Nikola Jokic seen by a big enough audience for Altitude to turn a profit, maybe Kroenke should get out of the broadcasting business.
Throwin’ shade: And today’s parting shot was much saltier (and funnier) before I had to find euphemisms for all the spiciest language.
I know (brown-nosing Kiz) writes (moose scat) for clicks but from the bottom of my heart please shut the (cabin) up (for the winter). His takes are constantly trash and meant to be inflammatory.
Steve, saltier than the ocean
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