Mom and grandmother both play favorites


Dear Amy: Our daughter has two daughters who are one year apart.

She very obviously favors the younger one.

Examples: She features a picture of only the younger one on her phone screen. We will talk at night with our granddaughters and when talking to the younger, the older one is always getting yelled at for something, while heaping positive attention onto the younger one.

Our daughter goes shopping with the younger one all the time while the older one stays home with dad.

I asked, “Why not take the older one?” She said the older daughter isn’t interested. I’m thinking: “Well, make her go!”

When the girls are with us overnight, I purposely favor the older one.

My husband plays with the younger while I seek out the older one, hug her, snuggle, and give her lots of love.

Am I wrong to try to make up for six days of favoritism to the younger with one day of favoritism for the older?

I can’t say anything to our daughter because I’m afraid to offend her and then we would never see the girls.

— Loving Grandma

Dear Grandma: If your daughter would respond to respectful observational feedback from her own mother by denying access to the children, then your issues might be larger than this imbalance of attention.


Source link