Maid of Honor doesn’t say yes to the dress


Dear Amy: Last year, I asked “Hannah” to be my maid of honor for my destination wedding.

She exuberantly accepted and we both started planning. The wedding was only about five months away, so things needed to be figured out quickly.

I gave Hannah no less than three different options of times to go dress shopping.

She was always “unable to make it.”

She is single, with a car, and has no real reason to be unavailable.

After a couple months of this, I let Hannah know that I was really sorry, but another friend would be stepping in as maid of honor. I said I still very much wanted her as a bridesmaid.

Long story short: she completely freaked. She told me I was a terrible person, how dare I do this to her when she “spent so much time and effort on this already,” that I obviously didn’t care about our friendship, and she didn’t want anything more to do with me!

Our young daughters (both 9 years old) were best friends.

I have tried to repair this friendship. It still bothers me that maybe I WAS in the wrong. I also want to help restore our daughters’ friendship. She won’t even let her daughter have play dates with us anymore.

Can I get your objective opinion?

Was I so wrong in picking a different maid of honor? Or should I have just sucked it up and dealt with Hannah’s problematic schedule?


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