Long-married husband looks for passion


Dear Amy: My wife and I have been married for 48 years.

In one sense, we are very much committed to each other, however, we have not had sex in more than 20 years and have been intimate only once or twice in that time.

I have on several occasions expressed a desire for affection and intimacy, but the interest doesn’t seem to be there.

We never had a great sex life, but affection and sex have completely disappeared over the course of our marriage, and it isn’t something that my wife wishes to discuss.

We can easily discuss any number of topics related to politics, education, or the arts, but we are rarely able to have a conversation about our relationship.

At one time I proposed counseling, but it went nowhere because my wife had no desire to expose herself to a stranger.

I once asked for guidance in terms of being a better husband and she remarked that she wasn’t going to give me a “grocery list” of what I should do or how I should behave.

We enjoy doing things together — hiking, biking, going out to dinner, being with friends and family, going to concerts — but in the end our marriage isn’t very satisfying for me on a personal level.

I am 72 years old. How do I find contentment in my remaining years?

— Looking for Love

Dear Looking: It sounds as if you already have contentment.


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