Long-ago date wants to give belated feedback


Dear Amy: I dated “C” for only a month in 2020.

It was obviously not long term. I was the one who broke it off. I have not contacted him since. Recently, I logged onto Facebook for the first time in a long time, and I noticed that he has been messaging me over the course of the last two years — and as recently as last week (which is odd since he has my phone number).

It’s clear that he wants to get back together, but I have no interest in reconnecting with him.

I’m now wondering if I should tell him the reasons I broke off the relationship.

Telling him would be purely selfish and therapeutic (for me).

I never told him all the things that bothered me, and if I did now, I’d finally be able to get it off my chest.

Additionally, maybe he’ll be willing to take this feedback for what it is?

I’m NOT claiming I can change him, but what if my feedback helps?

It’s clear he’s not had much luck maintaining a committed relationship (based on all the messages I’ve received over the years), so maybe he’ll be willing to listen?

However, I hesitate for a few reasons.

The truth will sound harsh — because it is.


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