I was a sex worker who married a client. How do we tell people how we met?


Dear Amy: I met my husband when I was a part-time sex worker and he was a client.

We’ve been happily married for 30 years (I found a new career when we started dating).

We made up a story about meeting at a concert, but my mother-in-law doesn’t believe it.

Twice now she has asked me to tell her the “real way we met,” but for obvious reasons I’ve stuck to our story.

She’s a great mom and mother-in-law, and I know her feelings are hurt that I won’t tell her how we met.

What can I say to her to make her feel OK with never knowing the truth?

— Holding

Dear Holding: You maintain that your mother-in-law’s feelings are hurt because you won’t tell her how you met her son.

But you did tell her.

I’d say that your mother-in-law making two inquiries in 30 years doesn’t convey a burning need to know or to catch you out, unless the two times she has asked about this both happened last week.

If your mother-in-law seems exceptionally upset and you think it might help to try to talk this through, you could start with some questions (always patiently wait for the answer): “You seem very curious about this. We’ve told you that we met at a concert. What is it that you’re hoping to learn, aside from what we’ve told you?”


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