Grandmother’s offer of housing might backfire


Dear Amy: I am the grandmother of two wonderful kids — a 7-year-old girl and 3-year-old boy.

My son-in-law has been overly critical of my granddaughter since she was four, and now is starting to treat the younger child the same. My daughter stood up for her children three years ago and they separated for six months, mainly because of his inability to be more patient with the children. (There were some other issues.) She and the kids lived with me at that time.

They’ve been to counseling off and on for a couple of years.

His behavior is mean, calling them idiots, and he often uses foul language.

He tries to teach them patience and manners by yelling and holds the older child to a standard that he doesn’t reach himself.

He has never hit them, but is very intimidating.

He is a stay-at-home dad because of some health issues and hasn’t worked in two years. He rarely cleans, and doesn’t cook or do laundry.

My daughter doesn’t want to hear my opinion anymore. She knows he won’t change and she would have to kick him out again, so she pretends it’s not that bad.

They are having financial problems and I want to offer to have them move in with me.

I have plenty of room but am worried about not being able to get along with my son-in-law all the time.

I know that I would probably take on most of the childcare and housekeeping, but I want what’s best for the kids and my daughter.


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