Friend’s gifts are really burdens


Dear Amy: I have a casual friend who won’t stop giving me excessive gifts, even after I have asked her to stop.

We take morning walks together, but we do not share any other social activities.

She found out when my birthday is, and surprised me with a custom-made cake and a large bag full (13 items) of what she called “trinkets,” but some of these items retail for at least $25 to $30 each!

I thanked her, but also protested loudly that it was way too much. I tried to reciprocate on her birthday, but could not keep up.

Christmas was even worse.

I felt so inadequate and uncomfortable that I talked to my therapist about it.

She suggested picking a time when there are no occasions coming up, and having a frank talk with her about how uncomfortable this makes me.

So I did.

I asked her if we could stop exchanging gifts, and she agreed.

This year around Thanksgiving I reminded her again to please NOT get me a Christmas gift, and she responded with an “eyeroll-OK-sure.”

This year she waited until Dec. 26 to leave it on my front porch, and claims it’s not a Christmas gift!


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