Family member needs non-binary primer – The Denver Post


Dear Amy: My daughter (22 years old) came out as a non-binary last year, and I fully supported them (we use them/their pronouns now). They’ve been a lot happier since coming out.

They prefer to use their middle name (let’s say “Max”) instead of their first name (“Suzy”).

The problem now is that my religious sister (who lives in another country) is coming into town for a visit.

I told my sister about “Max” a while back and she obviously is not very happy about it (not my problem). In our online chats, she keeps referring to Max using their previous name, “Suzy.”

Whenever she does that, I will reply in ways such as: “Oh yes, Max is very glad that…”

I don’t want her visit to be a disaster, nor do I want to listen to her quote from the Bible, etc.

Since my sister doesn’t live in this country, Max hasn’t seen her for a long time. I haven’t told Max about their aunt’s refusal to call them “Max.”

How should I handle this?

— Anxious Mom

Dear Anxious: Non-binary does not refer to sexuality, but to gender. I’m not aware that the Bible addresses this aspect of being human (but I assume that readers will correct me).

If you accept that gender occurs along a continuum marked by two genders on either end of the spectrum: Female/Male, then it makes sense that a percentage of humans would identify as neither completely male nor completely female – but as “non-binary.”


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