Ex’s misconduct may affect his college


Dear Amy: Over the course of our 16-year marriage my ex-husband often acted impulsively, in ways that were perhaps explained but not excused by his bipolar disorder.

Just after our second child was born, he kissed and groped a student at the local college whom he’d hired for a small job.

The student was appropriately angry and got a lawyer to threaten a civil case against him for sexual harassment.

To avoid this becoming public, he accepted the lawyer’s proposal of a $40,000 payment in exchange for her silence.

I felt horribly complicit in keeping this secret, but with a baby, a toddler, and an upside-down mortgage, it was hard to imagine doing otherwise.

Our marriage survived only to weather several years of his opioid addiction, which once again drained our life savings.

Four years ago, I finally left him, got counseling for myself and our teens, and found happiness.

He remarried, and maintains a positive reputation as a businessman and philanthropist.

Recently I was shocked to learn that he’s a candidate for a prestigious appointment to the board of the alumni foundation of that same local college.

I feel like I should expose his past behavior to the foundation, but I’m second-guessing my motives.

I don’t want to deal with the hurt from a bad marriage by lashing out: I’d rather ignore him and move on.


Source link