Ex is distressed to be excluded from family wedding


Dear Amy: My ex-husband’s 38-year-old niece, “Clare” is getting married next month and has chosen not to invite me to her wedding.

During our 30-year marriage we lived three to four hours from his family and visited at major holidays. I was present in Clare’s life from the time of her birth and during all the years of our marriage. I have seen her at my daughter’s wedding, graduations, funerals, and on Facebook over these years.

The bride has blindsided me and my ex-husband by excluding me.

My ex and I have stayed close, and he asked why I wasn’t invited. She reported that she is mad at me because she feels I favored another younger niece who was my daughter’s age over her as a teen, which I did not, and she doesn’t want me at her wedding.

Her mother, my former sister-in-law, wanted me included, but the bride refused.

My adult children will be traveling a long distance to attend this wedding, just as Clare attended my daughter’s wedding five years ago — along with many members of my ex-husband’s family.

It really hurts to be excluded and to miss a rare evening with nieces and nephews (along with my own children).

Although my feelings are very hurt by this slight, I’ve made peace with the fact that a bride can invite whomever she wants.

Now I am unsure how to navigate this going forward.

Should I send a card? Act like it never happened?

Or do I tell this niece that I am sorry she has held onto this resentment that I was never aware of, and wish her well?


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