DNA testing reveals family shock


Dear Amy: About five years ago, I found out through DNA testing that my third child (age 31), is not my biological son.

I learned this after divorcing my wife. My ex will not discuss this issue with me and has not been forthright with him, either.

I love my son as much as my other two children, but doesn’t he deserve to know the truth? He lives on the opposite coast, but we have a good relationship and just enjoyed a great week-long visit together.

One concern to me is that he may eventually need to know his medical history that I cannot provide.

Also, he is becoming more inquisitive regarding family ancestry, and I try to avoid such conversations.

His mother does not want to discuss any of this with me, but I am open to having both of us discuss this with him in the future if she is willing.

I have taken the stance that it is up to her to tell him, but she hasn’t since we uncovered this information almost five years ago.

Is there anything I should do, or should I just wait on her?

She may be planning to take the truth to her grave to avoid embarrassment.

Is any action on my part required? Your suggestion?

— Determined Dad


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