Boyfriend’s negativity pushes partner away


Dear Amy: I have been with my boyfriend for five years. He always plays the victim — the world is out to get him and it’s everyone else’s fault. He is depressed, anxious, constantly negative, and constantly complaining.

He has been unemployed for years due to being fired from multiple jobs because of his attitude and performance issues.

I have been patient because he’s had a lot of trauma in his life. He loves me and treats me well.

I’ve stayed for so long because I believe that mental illness is like physical illness, and isn’t a reason to end a relationship.

However, lately I am just emotionally exhausted. His negativity and victim mentality drag me down and deplete any positivity I have in my life.

His bad attitude and refusal to take any responsibility are too much for me to handle.

He doesn’t believe in therapy and thinks the bad experiences he’s endured are unique to him.

I am not in love anymore. He isn’t open to changing his attitude or getting help from mental health professionals.

If he’s always been good to me, is it wrong to break up with him just because I can’t put up with his ongoing depression and negative attitude?

When is mental illness a reason to end things, versus sticking with a relationship and being supportive?

— On the Fence


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