Ask Amy: Struggling survivor avoids reflection


Dear Amy: I read your column every day. There are times where I wonder how to approach a situation and try to imagine what your advice would be.

However, there’s one internal conflict I have where I feel at a complete loss.

I cannot bring myself to look in a mirror or at any kind of reflection without feeling an immense amount of shame and disappointment. I avoid cameras at all costs.

Growing up, I used to love dressing up and taking photos. I participated in cosplay for years and paid for photoshoots.

I was in a serious relationship for over a decade, and my partner cheated on me.

Following a grueling break-up, I gained almost 100 pounds and committed myself to an in-patient mental hospital, then outpatient for over a year.

I haven’t been to my personal psychologist in about a year, though I still check in with my primary care physician.

Since my time in the hospital, I’ve lost nearly 80 pounds and am very close to my ideal weight. I am engaged to my best friend, and we have a wonderful relationship. He always compliments me and is very understanding of my feelings.

I feel like I’ve done everything I should be doing, and I still can’t bring myself to look in a mirror or take photos.

I just want to be satisfied with my own face and in my own skin. I don’t know how to overcome the thought that I’ll always be someone to cheat on.

I’d really appreciate your thoughts.


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