Adult daughter’s BMI is TMI


Dear Amy: My daughter is 33 and is a kind, caring person.

She has a good job and a devoted boyfriend who is living with her in a house that we helped her buy.

She was a normal weight until she gained about 30 pounds in college and after she joined AA to quit drinking.

During the pandemic she became depressed and put on another 20 pounds, but in the past 18 months (since her boyfriend moved in) she has gained at least 60 pounds.

She is now 100 pounds over her BMI of 25, a healthy weight.

She quit her gym during Covid and hasn’t gone back.

She has done several extreme fad diets, including vegan and keto, but now has thrown herself into a carb-heavy diet and has a BMI of over 35.

Her normal-sized boyfriend has also put on at least 10 pounds.

Six months ago, she saw a doctor who recommended bariatric surgery, which she refused.

She doesn’t see doctors, despite having good health insurance.

I’ve read in your column that I can’t speak to her about this since she is fully aware of it, will resent me, and only she can change it.


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