A sports injury leads to hurt feelings


Dear Amy: “Bart” and I have known each other for several years through our wives, who are colleagues. I’m now rethinking my friendship with him.

We have some shared interests, and the four of us have been out to dinner many times (but not recently).

A couple of years ago, I introduced Bart to a sports group. He has been an active participant.

A couple of months ago while playing the sport, I limped away injured.

Bart showed no concern — not once — even though I haven’t played with the group since, and other members have expressed interest and concern.

I’ve helped Bart and his family with various household items on multiple occasions. I’ve never asked for or received anything from him (other than inexpensive obligatory birthday gifts, which our wives insist we exchange). Inevitably, I expect our paths to cross again, and I’m interested to know your take on how to approach him.

I’m obviously low on his priority list, but I don’t want to appear artificially congenial.

I would rather just focus on more deserving people.

— Hurt Feelings in the Midwest

Dear Hurt Feelings: “Bart” sounds like a jerk. There — I said it.

Unfortunately, our human tendency is to let the person who hurts our feelings crash through our chorus line of supporting players and grab the story line. (I think about this most days when I go through my reader mail.)


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